How Should I Handle a Problem With the Teacher?

By Dr. Ruth Jacoby, Educational Consultant

Question:

What should you do when you have a problem with your child's teacher and other parents also seem to have the same kinds of problems?

Answer:

Make a list with all of your concerns with exact documentation if you have any. Call for an appointment with the teacher to see if you can resolve any of the issues. Do not worry yourself with how others feel. Your only concern is what is best for your child.

Be prepared to listen, listen and listen. You may learn a lot more about the teacher's philosophy and who she is. You may want to practice first exactly what you want to say, so you are precise. Bring a checklist with you to the meeting so you hit all the pertinent points that you want to make.

Some of the concerns you may wish to report are: your concerns with her academic teachings, with projects, with too much or too little homework, with how she explains the lessons, with her communication, with her attitude or with your feelings about not being welcomed into the classroom.

If you leave the meeting still carrying the same concerns, you may wish to seek out the advice of an administrator (principal, assistant principal, and/or guidance counselor). Explain that you already had a parent-teacher conference, but not all your concerns were addressed to your satisfaction. Ask for their assistance and guidance. Remember not every teacher your child has through the many school years ahead—especially in middle and high school, where there is one teacher for each subject area—will be perfect. Changes sometimes can occur if your approach the problem with "a lot of sugar and honey."

Dr. Ruth Jacoby has been involved in education for more than 30 years as an educator, principal and currently as an educational consultant in Florida. She is the co-author of the School Talk! Success Series including Parent Talk!: The Art of Effective Communication With the School and Your Child, Homework Talk!: The Art of Effective Communication About Your Child's Homework and Test Talk!: Understanding the Stakes and Helping Your Children Do Their Best.

Advice from our experts is not a substitute for professional diagnosis or treatment from a health-care provider or learning expert familiar with your unique situation. We recommend consulting a qualified professional if you have concerns about your child's condition.

Comments from GreatSchools.net readers

03/4/2008:

"I would love if the parents of my second grade students would come to p/t conferences with their concerns written down. That way we could go down the list and address all their concerns. My biggest problem during p/t conferences is the parents that need to come to conferences don't show up. Their children are the ones that are academically having problems or are having behavior problems that disrupt the learning of others. When I contact parents between report cards for concerns with behavior they say that the student does the same misbehavior at home. How can a teacher with 20 students hope to address the behavior problems of 2 or 3 students when their parents don't try to correct the misbehavior at home. Allowing the misbehavior at home only reinforces the misbehavior. I try to get the parents to work with me to reward the children when they show improved behavior. But so many parents today don't want to be bothered or are scared that their child will use the 'chil! d abuse' threat when they try to discipline the child for misbehavior."

12/6/2007:

"My daughter seems to be an physical learner. How do approach her teacher about my concern that her lacking academically in reading may be because she is not a visual nor audio learner. How would I, at home began to train her to use physical learning techniques when she reads for study and fun? "