He does struggle a bit with math, but this was an issue before math became a problem for him. How can I help him enjoy school and should I be concerned that this has lasted the school year?

Answer: This may simply be a matter of maturity. First grade is often the first time that youngsters have spent the entire day away from home, which can be overwhelming. As such, the adjustment can take a long time and behaviors can vary widely. There are a few things you can do to help him along the way.

First, make sure your son is getting enough sleep each night. Research has shown that poor or inadequate sleep can lead to mood swings, behavioral problems and even problems with learning. According to the National Sleep Foundation, school-aged children require 10-11 hours of sleep each night. Also, wake him early enough so that he can get ready for school in a relaxed fashion and enjoy a healthy breakfast.

Second, find ways to help your son feel more connected to his school. See that he participates in after-school activities (Cub Scouts, team sports) or group events sponsored by the school. Plan weekend play dates for him with peers from his classroom, so that he develops friendships and looks forward to seeing the other children at school. Ensure that you do this over the summer, as well, so he stays connected during the long break.

Third, monitor your own reactions to his distress. Children are amazingly perceptive when it comes to their parents' emotions. Your son may be picking up on your feelings of concern, which in turn may fuel his anxiety and his desire to stay close to you. Questioning him about his dislike of school may be reinforcing in some way; instead, talk to him about his school day with enthusiasm, giving reinforcement for positive reports and only limited attention to negative reports.

Dr. Stacie Bunning, Psy.D, is a licensed clinical psychologist in the St. Louis, Missouri, area. She has worked with children, adolescents and their families in a variety of clinical settings for 20 years. She also teaches courses in child psychology, adolescent psychology and human development through the lifespan at Maryville University in St. Louis.

Advice from our experts is not a substitute for medical or other professional advice and services from a qualified health-care provider familiar with your unique situation. We recommend consulting a qualified professional if you have concerns about your child's medical or emotional condition.

June 2007